Jesus spent much of his time in prayer and if he did then we should too.
Jesus’ disciples watched him and saw that prayer was integral to his ministry. This led to them asking Him to teach them how to pray. Jesus’ reply was to teach them the Lord’s prayer.
This was not a prayer to be recited by rote, but a pattern of prayer using elements from the Old Testament, especially the Psalms.
Prayer should be faith-filled (James 5:13-16), visceral (Romans 8:26, James 5:17) and continual (Matthew 7:7, 1 Thessalonians 5:17). Prayer doesn’t just change our heart and attitude; it changes our circumstances and trajectory. And prayer can be taught.
It’s not about putting your hands together and closing your eyes. It’s about heart connection and bringing God’s will to earth. Now there is a big difference between saying prayers and praying the visceral, faith-filled prayers that we are encouraged to pray in Scripture. But you have to start somewhere.
As with all our children’s development we understand that it takes time for them to get the hang of things and in the meantime we provide some scaffolding to help them move forwards. So for example before a baby can crawl we move them to where they need to go. When they start crawling we don’t mock their primitive attempts at moving on all fours, instead we know that this is a step towards them taking their first step.
The same is true with spiritual principles. They may start hesitantly and in a way that seems basic but if we provide the right support it won’t be long before they are moving forward in their own prayer relationship with God.
Encouraging prayer in the group
It is easy to allow prayer to be a short moment, almost like the clearing of the throat before you get into the real work of the class. When this happens, prayer becomes like the bookends of the lesson, rather than an opportunity to talk with God.
If we lack confidence in giving children space to pray it is easy for us to fill the space and the default becomes we pray while the children listen in and say Amen at the end. So how do we break the stale mate?
Here are a couple of activities that can help kick start children praying out loud in a group.
1. The football analogy
In a football match you do not see the supporters quietly encouraging their team. Instead they yell and shout because they are passionate for the cause. We tell the children to imagine their team has just won the premier league – how would they respond, with a polite comment or a loud cheer? Once the group settles down, reflect on this: If we cheer that much for a ball going between two posts, how much more we should cheer for King Jesus who beat death and sin. Lead the children to cheer for Jesus for a short time.
2. Thank you explosion
Stand in a circle and go round the circle with each person taking a step forward and saying thank you to God for something in a simple one sentence prayer. E.g. Thank you God for my family, Amen. When everyone has had a turn, explain that God is mighty and can hear all of us praying at once. Tell them you are going to create an explosion of thankfulness to God by repeating the exercise, but this time everyone can step forward at once and as many times as they can think of things to thank God for. So if they think of something else they can step forward again. Aim to stop before the children run out of things to say.
3. As at home.
Sometimes I will encourage children to pray as if they are at home and gently guid them through it.
Getting them praying out loud is a helpful starting point and all this is a great introduction to prayer, but the real aim is to encourage them to develop their own prayer life. For this we need to encourage them to pray at home.
Encouraging prayer at home
If we are serious about discipling our children, one of the most important things we should know is whether our children are praying and reading the Bible at home. Some families will do family devotionals, and this is to be encouraged and commended, but we also want our children to develop their own relationship with God and for this it is good for them to take time to pray to God on their own.
When I first start with a group, I challenge them to pray for as many minutes a day as they are years old. So if you are 6 years old you pray for 6 minutes a day, if you are 9 years old you pray for 9 minutes a day.
Just as Jesus gave the pattern of the Lord’s prayer we take the same elements and encourage children to pray the STOP prayer.
S = Sorry (confession).
T = Thank you (praise and adoration).
O = Others
P = Please (praying for our own requests and needs).
We encourage the children to Stop & Listen. In other words to pray through the different elements of the stop prayer and then to listen to God by reading the Bible and asking His Holy Spirit to speak to you.
Often, I will take time in the class to lead children through this model of prayer, encouraging them to do it not as a group but as if they were at home on their own. Depending on the group I may give suggestions of the kinds of things they can pray for in each category to give them plenty to pray for. Children are always amazed to find that they prayed for 15 minutes and are encouraged that if they could do that at church they can certainly pray for as many minutes a day as they are years old when they are at home.
Once I have set this challenge for the children, the most important thing to do is to follow up on it. The first week most children will probably have forgotten and it may be you need to liaise with parents to speak with the children midweek and remind them. I’ve called up children who have forgotten all about prayer who are busy doing nothing at the time. Once I’ve reminded them, they go and pray.
Each week when we meet, I ask the children how many days of the week they managed to pray for as many minutes a day as they are years old. Gradually the children develop a habit of prayer until many of them are praying for 7 days of the week.
At this point it is time to encourage them to the next level. You see, the aim is not that they will pray for as many minutes a day as they are years old. That is merely a stepping stone to get them started. The aim is that they will develop a vibrant prayer life that changes things on earth to be as it is in heaven.
When a child is engaging regularly in prayer at home we can see them also growing in prayer in the group. There will be occasions where the children feel like they could go on praying for ever as the Holy Spirit leads them. Our next challenge for the children who have established a pattern of regular prayer is for them to pray until they encounter God at home, just like they have at church.
Often the children come back the next week and say something like, ‘I only managed to do it twice.’ They understand the assignment and it is easy to encourage them – this is a child who has gone home and spent time with God, leading themselves into His presence. This is the lifelong journey we are all on to learn to pray continually and to continually break into his presence.
Being led by the Spirit
As the children grow in prayer our next duty is for them to learn to be led by the Spirit. Sometimes in the group setting, instead of giving a prayer agenda you can ask the children to think about what God wants them to pray for in that session. Then take time to pray and listen to God about these things. With our children who were desiring to be leaders we would lead them in prolonged times of prayer for several hours. Children would come wondering how they would survive and leave wondering where the time went!
One girl, aged around 10, was being used greatly by God to share the Gospel with her friends in school. I knew she must have a strong prayer life but I had no idea how strong until I spoke with her and asked her. I asked her how long she prayed for each day and she told me she had no idea.
‘So when do you pray?’ I asked.
‘Well, I pray in the morning, at lunch and in the evening, but my main prayer time is the morning,’ she replied.
‘How long do you pray for in the morning?’
‘I don’t know.’
This was going to require more careful questioning. ‘What time do you wake up?’ I asked.
‘I wake at 5am each morning.’
‘And what time do you go to school.’
‘Around 8am.’
‘So, what do you from when you wake up until you go to school.’
‘I get up and pray. Get dressed for school. Eat breakfast. That’s it. … But sometimes I spend too long praying so I don’t have time to eat breakfast.’
She didn’t start there, over the years her prayer life gradually grew as we and her family encouraged and supported her. The fruit of her prayers was clear in the friends she had led to the Lord and was discipling.
When we pray God moves. It does not matter how old we are, it matters only who we are praying to.
In Conclusion
The hardest part is getting started. So don’t be discouraged, teach your children to pray and pray for them as they exercise their prayer muscles. If your prayer life is not where you think it should be, bring it before the Lord and let’s allow the bride of Christ to call on the name of the Lord.
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